i spoke recently at a gathering, a college fellowship i helped start during my undergraduate years.

things went….poorly to say the least, as far as i was concerned.

it was great to re-connect with old friends and spend time with brothers and sisters in Christ, but my talk left much to be desired.

in looking back i see how i was fully prepared: outline, notes, Bible references, funny stories, real-life illustrations, practical analogies, etc.

yet no matter that i was prepared, i didnt fully prepare myself. my heart and my spirit were not ready to share God’s truth. i was unaware on that night of the privilege and responsibility sitting on my shoulders.

i gave no time or energy to hiding myself behind the cross, that the students would hear Christ. i gave no real time or energy in prayer – either for myself and my words to be His, or for those who came that night and listened.

i approached the evening flippantly and lazily; i spiritually just wasnt ready.

which makes me think….am i burdened with the Truth of the Gospel?

why did i need to cultivate a special preparedness that evening within my spirit? granted there will always be some preparation needed for a engagement of this nature, but why was i caught so off-guard and unprepared?

am i – in even the slightest fashion – prepared to share the truth of Jesus Christ with those around me?

is my heart in a constant state of readiness? am i so aware of the life and joy inside of me that i could at any given second spout forth of the blessings God has seen fit to bestow in my life?

do my attitudes and my actions communicate to those around me in solidarity with my spirit? does my life exhibit Jesus Christ risen and alive inside of me?

too often, i fear not. which leads me to ask….

am i truly burdened with the Gospel?